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Start with the End
“Could an important step in reframing the beginning of youth players’ experience be to reframe the end?”
Hamish Rogers
January 31, 2024
Do you think about the game that lasts a lifetime?
As Dad to a little hurricane (a 20-month-old boy), moments spent future gazing, are far and few between right now.
So it was an abrupt, and welcome feeling, to find myself catapulted 20 years ahead this weekend.
Asking myself: What will my boy's bond with sport be?
What triggered all this?
I stumbled across this great blog by Skye Eddy, who shared her personal reflections on her daughter’s last college soccer game.
Skye shared some poignant musings on ‘endings’ in US sports.
There are a handful of endings built-in to our sporting structures in America. The last high school game, the last club tournament played, the final college game. Of course, these traditional endings hold an important place. Cali’s final regular season college game was met with some wonderful traditions – a special pre-game walk out with family, flowers, decorated lockers, and post-game celebrations.
Unfortunately, we often frame these endings as just that – the end. The end of a playing career. The end of competitive soccer. The end of playing on a team. In fact, as I hugged Cali after the game, I heard one of her senior teammates say “Well, that was the last soccer game I will ever play.” THAT STATEMENT hurt my heart a bit.
Closer to home
Here in New Zealand, where I have a little more familiarity with the youth sport culture.
Our structures may look different to those in the USA, but we share some similar challenges.
To these types of challenges, Skye poses the question:
“Could an important step in reframing the beginning of a youth players’ experience be to reframe the end?”
What would youth sport look like if we were fixated on the number of players, participants and athletes that were a life-long member or customers?
What if we celebrated these types of successes and stories, just like we did if we won a World Cup?
Stephen Covey said, "Begin with the end in mind."
For us — coaches, admins, parents — perhaps the "end" should be a perpetual start. A start to a lifelong love for the game.
And any other success — whether a weekend wonder story or a hard earned trophy — that's just the icing on the cake.
A memory this time
I’m transported to a conversation with Ross. My mother’s friend. In his 60s.
I hadn’t seen Ross in close to 10 years. We were talking, exchanging the normal kind of pleasantries you do in these kind of situations.
Somehow the conversation took a turn to me playing football over the weekend. The wrinkles on Ross’s face seemed to shift at this. He perked up and dialed into the conversation a bit more.
Upon reflection, what transpired next was almost some kind of admiration from Ross. Or was it reverence?
I think I must have still been a bit ambivalent at the time.
You see, I didn’t think hoofing a ball with my mates on the weekend on a regular basis as I entered my mid-30s was special.
But Ross did.
And come to think of it, Ross is right to think like that.
I guess the question I have from here is how do you bottle this mindset? And connect it with the intentions and actions of all the adults supporting our kids’ sport his weekend.
If you have any ideas, let me know.
As for me, well I certainly hope that in 20 years’ time, I’ll be able to look back and celebrate that my son is still playing a sport he loves.